Morning, Once I finally went to sleep I had an okay night.. Why skylee wakes up every hour or every few hours I will never know! She turns 1 on the 28th or this month August.. I can't believe it! She has been so difficult for me this last year, but I love her so much I can't stand it! She is so cute, and so smart! Where my kids got there brain, I will never know, not from me that's for sure! I love Jaxon so much as well! he always has been so special to me! Going through this hard marriage, he has been my special buddy that has helped me keep going!
Well I still have anger this morning, I can't believe Brandon.. I really dont know if this will ever work. H just treats me like shit and never thinks of my feelings and that I might need love. I swear just because he has the sick ass problem he thinks everything is all about him.. Talking to his mom freaked me about how he always has been! He has serious problems, and it really discourages me! What do I do with him, and this marriage? I have to keep telling myself that it has only been one week, and that isn't long enough to make a judgement on! I can't say how bad I hate this though! I didnt ask for this when I married him, I thought things would be normal. I guess this is normal in this terrible world! I hate how he has made me feel, he has made me feel worthless, ugly, and a piece of crap! How do I get over this and get throught this hard time? What do I do ? Heavenly Father please help me! I can't do this without you, I need your love and help to get me through this so I can make good choices.. I know I havent made the best choices lately, I am sorry and I want help and the spirit with me.. Please help Brandon! Please help him get through this, and help him want this and that he will want to do everything possible.. Please help me put aside what Sharon has told me so that I can move forward! I really do want this to work Heavenly Father, I really do! Please help keep Satan out of our minds and out of our house! I know yesterday was a little difficult for me, but help me to get through each day!
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