10:04 a.m. August 21 The huge catch

So last night was our thurday night softball games. I have loved playing, I have come so far from feeling insecure with myself being up to bat. I was thinking last night, that I probably wouldn't have played because I wouldn't want everyone watching me and thinking i'm ugly. The first game I played in, when I got up to bat I was shaking so bad and was so nervous! Now I get nervous just from the pressure but not that people are looking at me, cause we all look the same up there! Anyways I have done well. Good for never playing before. I usually hit the ball everytime just about, and I can run fast so I usually make it on base.
We have been going to the 12 step meeting right before going and playing.. The last two weeks I havent really been in the mood to play. Im sad and upset and I dont feel lke faking a smile. Last night was different though, I have been really trying to have a better additude! I want a to be better about my additude just in life, let alone brandons problem.
Well anyways and for the play of the game...
So I had started switching playing in the outfield with Ashley, We both hate it but someone has to play the position! So we both had been switching off playing right field. I hate it! I missed two balls because I don't know how to judge where the ball is going. It sucks I feel just like a huge retard! Well I played the position twice, and then decided I wanted to play center so I could be by Adam or Brandon so they could cover for me and I wouldn't have to get the ball. Well Ashley begged me to go out, so I did. Adam was out there with me so I felt somewhat okay. So the first guys that got up hits it to right field and I say to myself thank heavens I switched. Then another guy gets up and hits it right at me, Shit is what I say, as i'm calling for Adam to come and save me, I put my glove out and try to get the ball but I miss judge it and it goes right over my head and falls.. I felt like a retard! then a girl gets up and gets on base and then a guy gets on base. So the next guy to get up was this huge man that looked like one of those bullys that get up and brakes the bat on his head and hits a homerun by swinging with one hand.. Well ofcourse he swings and hits the ball right at me again! Once again I saw "Shit Adam come and get this ball... Well my the Angels in the outfield helped me, and by a huge miracle I CAUGHT THE BALL! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA I don't know how I did it, so thats why I say the Angels in the outfield helped me. Everyone cheered and screamed! I thought they were just screaming because the retard caught the ball! Well little did I know because I wasnt paying attention, if I hadn't caught that ball the other team would have won and the game would have been over! I believe that it also sent us to the finals.. Ha what the heck, that kind of stuff doesn't happen to me, some of the guys were yelling ESPN.. Ha I didnt know what to do, I get so shy at those kind of situations!
The feeling I had inside was so good! I felt so good by people I don't really even know. It is what I need last night! Thank you Angels in the outfield! You made my night and week!